Why be normal when I can be awesome?!

Rediscovering your self is a 24/7 job; much like addiction. On any given day I might feel that addiction was harder or this part is. I think right now it's a toss up. Figuring out who I am and what that means is terrifying and exciting, both. And they frequently occur together. It's like a roller coaster I'm not certain I want to ride, but know I have to, and getting off means stopping the ride for a lot of people around me too. Initially, I started this journey knowing one thing about ME; not my roles in life, just ME. I knew I like to paint. I put so much stock in that that at times it was the mantra repeating in my head. The one thing I had that harnessed me to this process. If I didn't have that, God only knows where I'd end up. That was my thinking up until about a week ago. I was sitting at an NA meeting and I had an epiphany. Painting is NOT the only piece of my personal puzzle I've got. I'm an addict. And for the vast majority of the public, I think, that isn't something you share a lot. But I've learned my identity, much of it, is tied up in that. And it is a great thing. I accept who I am. I will never be "normal" like my parents may or may not have wanted. When I look at the friends I've made since the beginning of this journey, I see strength, creativity, wisdom, perseverance, loyalty, and the BEST damn sense of humor. These are my people. I'm more comfortable in my skin now than I've ever been. When I get to a meeting, stress melts, my heart heals, I feel solid. I have this whole other family now. We are kind of dysfunctional, but in the best ways. Make a mistake? Have a relapse? Come back to a meeting and you aren't judged or punished. You're told "welcome HOME". Isn't that what everyone goes through life wanting? I'm honored to be part of this group of people labeled addicts. I couldn't handpick better people. And to those of my friends and family who are decidedly NOT addicts, I love you too. You've supported my journey, my recovery, my rebuilding. I'm excited to show you who I'll be when I grow up. If I ever decide to...