I'm Back, but Only Just Sort of...

Been a long time, I know. Let's jump right on in. I am having one of those days where I feel it would be appropriate to stroll up to a complete stranger and ask, "What the fuck?". I am easing my nerves while the girls are doing "alone time" by drinking Mello Yello, eating a chocolate chip banana bread muffin, and watching a movie about gay relationships. Here is but a minor excerpt from my morning. Last night, it rained here. The rain ponded in both the dog poop scooping shovel and the dog poop bucket. The same thing happened Tuesday morning, well, Monday night. Monday night, however, the rain FILLED the bucket to the top. So, I checked the yard for dog poop before the girls came outside and when I got to the bucket to dump said poop, I realized the bucket was full of water and I REFUSE to touch that bucket. So, Jeff took care of it when he got home, but in the meantime, I set the shovel (complete with fresh poop) on the other side of the house where no one ever goes. Jeff emptied the watery poop bucket, but since I had squirreled the shovel away he didn't know it needed emptying and I had kind of bumped it down to the bottom of my to do list, so when it rained last night the poop shovel got all soupy. As if standing there looking at it didn't nauseate me enough, I knew I had to pick it up and empty it. A sane person would have made a plan. I just reached down to pick it up. Apparently, I used a little too much gusto because I grabbed the handle hard enough to up end the poop soup holder and it ran down the shovel onto my hand and up my arm. Just then, the girls opened the deck door, let in a fly (this is a huge issue in my world), and said they wanted a special treat for cleaning up their mess. Mess? What mess? When I went outside to dump poop juice up my arm the kitchen was spotless.

On the upside, Jeff and I are going out on a date tonight to celebrate our 11th anniversary. We just have to choose a destination. Honestly though, it is a night out for just the two of us so I'd be happy with McDonald's. Not really. I want to go somewhere where I can be assured nowhere on the menu will I find chicken fingers or mac n' cheese. The babysitter will be here at 6:30, so, here's to the next 5 hours being poop juice free...

Ang