Queen of My Own Procrasti-Nation

We leave for Mexico in a week and the list of things I've yet to even add to my already neglected list of things to do is astonishing. What makes my to do list freakish is my insatiable need to make everything 100% more complicated and stressful. Anxiety is the fuel that powers my inner hamster. If I could harness the energy produced by my crazy little hamster sprinting for hours on end in his crazy little wheel, I could power a large metropolitan area. However, I choose to use my energy to create stress. I was going to give a few examples of my grand plan, but decided I don't need the additional list-making stress. Suffice it to say the kinds of things that bog me down are making sure the rolling laundry supply cart in the laundry room doesn't have fuzz on it. Our laundry room will probably never be mistaken for a surgical suite. Kind of dark, kind of moist, unfinished bug haven. And I'm concerned about the fuzz on the laundry cart. What's more is that my mother in law and my own mom are the ones coming to stay with the girls while I'm gone. And I'm concerned about the fuzz on the laundry cart. But, the flip side to that is that I'm not in any way concerned about the safety or happiness of my children while I'm away. I can't imagine the girls having anymore fun than they will with their grandmas. My concern lies more with the grandmas than anyone. These girls of mine are something else and if you don't get out of bed bringing your A game, they will take you down. So, I'm hoping the grandmas hit the coffee and they hit it hard; our day doesn't stop around here until the girls are wrestled into jammies and subdued with a good book.

Where was I going with all this?

Oh, right. My 'anxiety-driven, professionally-neglected admitting I'm leaving my girls for a week' list. If that was my biggest concern, I would consider myself ahead of the game. But, no, it isn't that simple. Here's my BIG one: I'm afraid of flying. I haven't always been, and I've flown a lot. I had one negative experience flying home from Japan when I was 14. We were flying over the Pacific Ocean, no immediate landing options, and we hit turbulence. Not the "weeeeee!!" bouncy-bouncy fun kind of turbulence. The kind of turbulence that makes good Catholic nuns swear and tough guys sweat buckets; I'm assuming here because I am neither a nun nor a tough guy. I was, however, on that plane and terrified out of my mind. The wings of the plane were going in opposite directions of the body of the plane, the overhead bins were opening and luggage was falling out of them, the flight attendants were buckled in their seats and clearly not cool with the situation. Some moron stood up to close the bin above him and the flight attendants screamed at him. They actually screamed at him to sit down and put his seat belt back on. The oxygen masks dropped down and the tops of my legs hurt from the seatbelt jerking against me as we would all of a sudden lose all kinds of altitude. By the time we were able to land, I was, well, there are really no words to describe it. I've flown countless times since then and have not had another really horrible experience (knock on wood - sorry, I feel it necessary to abide by all laws of chance here). Jeff knows about my fear and is awesome at talking me down. But, our travel agent was unable to book our seats together on our flight into Mexico. If no one will switch seats so we can sit together, the person sitting next to me is going to need their own special breed of therapist upon touchdown.

Today as we were walking out of Target, a plane flew overhead and Sophia said, "look Mama! A plane! Just like you and Papa are going to ride on. And I bet you won't even fall out the windows!" I almost threw up on myself.

I am so excited to go on an honest to God vacation with my husband, but holy (insert your favorite expletive here), getting there is going to be anything but relaxing.

Ok. I have to stop writing now. I am absolutely positive that if I keep thinking about this, the wings are going to start falling off of planes just because of my mind power. My God, why can't I be this fixated on money raining from the sky.