Mother's Day

My Mother's Day would be incomplete without a little blogging. So, here are a few thoughts. Today on my day to do as I please, I slept in, was served pancakes and strawberries with whipped cream for breakfast, I read news articles I could have lived the rest of my life not knowing about, I organized the bathroom closet, played with the beads with Ava, went to Target hoping to find biodegradable sunscreen, and browsed all kinds of books at Borders. Now, Jeff is making curry for dinner (honest to God, the best you'll ever have) and I'm having a little alone time.

I remember reading a mother's day article years ago and the author was talking about how she would rather spend her mother's day sitting back and just watching her family 'happen' instead of being alone to do her own thing. Today, that really resonated with me. It may be mother's day, but I spent more of my time today feeling honored that I get to call Ava and Sophia my daughters than I spent feeling that the day should be all about me. These little girls are just incredible. And, they are both miracles in their very own ways. There was a period of time in Ava's second trimester of pregnancy when all signs pointed toward miscarriage and the doctor at the ER was unable to find a heartbeat. During her actual labor and delivery, her body just couldn't handle the stress of labor. She was born dark purple, not crying, not breathing. I don't remember any of this, Jeff told me sometime after her birth. There were tense moments when her life seemed to be hanging in the balance. But, no. This little girl of mine clung tight and showed us all a mere glimpse of the fighter she undoubtedly was. There were more than a few OBs and pediatricians who stopped by to see her and what was most commonly said was how beautiful she was; that she did not look like a newborn. I'm partial, sure, but they were right. She was strikingly beautiful. Before she was 3 weeks old, she was described as "exotic". And today, her smile brightens the room, her spirit is indomitable, and her eyes are those of an old soul. She is named after her great grandma, a grandma I never met but when seen through the eyes of my dad was nothing short of astonishing; strong, beautiful, intelligent, and feisty. That's my Ava Lili. In Sophia's case, the fact she survived her entire pregnancy is shocking. I was so ill I had to have a PICC line placed (go ahead, google it). I was hospitalized numerous times, had home health coming in to take care of my line and medication supply, and started preterm labor just before 30 weeks. I also passed a kidney stone measured at "at least" 1 full centimeter at 6 months. There were no safe options to remove the stone and I refused pain meds just based on what this tiny baby had already been subjected to. The stress on both of our bodies was immeasurable. We found out we were having a baby girl as soon as possible because I needed something to cling to; something to think about and know that in the end, it would all be worth it. Sophia's labor and delivery were fast, intense, and terrifying. But when she was born, I couldn't have listed one negative thing about her pregnancy. She taught me a very valuable lesson in perseverance. And when she slept, from day one, she looked like a china doll. Today, she is the instigator, the fire-starter. She throws caution to the wind and puts Ava's life and limbs in the line of fire. She's no fool and she will not walk in any one's shadow. She is also sweet beyond belief and loves to snuggle. She is endlessly amazed by rubber gloves and will bounce all alone on the trampoline for hours on end if we let her.

So today, especially, being a mom is awesome, but not because of the recognition, because of the the perfect little people who made me a mom.

And about my own mom I want to say this; I love her, I am proud of her, I admire her and can think of no greater compliment than "wow, you remind me of your mom". She is funny, smart, beautiful and classy, she makes you feel like the only person in the room no matter who you are or how long she has known you. When I'm sick, I still call her and wish she was here to take care of me. But most importantly, what amazes me most about my mom is that as an adult myself, I had the privilege of watching her really, truly come into her own. She took some excruciating life lessons, grabbed onto her boot straps, and dug in. To see the transformation she dedicated herself to is awe-inspiring. She went from being the beautiful woman we could all see but she could not, to being that beautiful woman consciously and loving herself for it. There is honestly no greater gift a mom could give her kids.

I hope you've all had an awesome mother's day. Joy and Jill, congratulations on your first mother's day. You are incredible women and this world is a better place by you bringing new people into it and raising them to be just as extraordinary as their mamas. I love you!!